Why “trying harder” won’t fix your menopause symptoms

If you’re someone who’s always handled life by pushing harder, you’re exactly the kind of gal who menopause hits the hardest.

Shots fired.

You might not want to hear this but it needs to be said. If you’re in your menopause era and still not feeling the way you want or getting the results you feel you deserve, and you’ve caught yourself thinking any of the following, I wrote this for you:

“I just need to be more consistent.”

“I know what to do, I just need to do it.”

“I don’t need help, I just need to try harder.”

That's not it. I meet so many smart, capable women who are telling themselves this, too. Usually right before they tell me how tired they are. How they wake at 3am and can’t get back to sleep. How the weight keeps creeping up no matter what they eat. How their moods feel unpredictable and their bodies feel out of control.

It’s tempting to think you can fix this with more effort. You’ve handled difficult things before. You know how to knuckle down when needed. Hell, some of the women I work with are handling multi-billion pound budgets at work, running huge teams and sometimes running the show. And here's the kicker: if things have been the way they've been for the last year without anything shifting, it won't magically sort itself out just by your willing it to happen. It’s not because you’re lazy or because you lack discipline. It’s because menopause has changed everything - and the strategies that worked for you before don’t work anymore. You can't keep wheeling them out and hoping against all hope your approach will someday work.

Menopause is different. You're dealing with physical, hormonal, and metabolic changes that discipline alone can't touch. And pretending otherwise only keeps you stuck.

This is why "pushing through" doesn’t work with menopause symptoms

I'll say it again, if you’re someone who’s always handled life by pushing harder, you’re exactly the kind of gal who menopause hits the hardest. The beliefs that trip women up sound very reasonable:

• I just need to get my act together.

• I know what healthy looks like, I just need to stick to it.

• I’ll start fresh on Monday. Next month. After this project at work finishes.

You think it’s a motivation problem. A consistency problem. Maybe even a willpower problem. It’s none of those things. It’s biology.

Midlife changes your hormonal landscape so much that the rules you lived by in your 20s, 30s, even early 40s don’t apply anymore. Trying harder only digs the hole deeper. It leaves you more tired, more frustrated, and feeling like a failure.

The truth is, you’re not failing. You’re trying to solve the wrong problem.

The real reasons your body feels different in menopause

Menopause symptoms aren’t random. They are clear signals that your body’s operating system is changing and it's crying out for an upgrade. We'll come to what to do about that in a moment but here’s what’s happening behind the scenes:

Blood sugar instability

Falling oestrogen makes your cells more resistant to insulin.This means your blood sugar becomes harder to regulate. Even meals that never used to cause an issue now lead to crashes, cravings, and irritability. Oh yes, and weight gain. Bummer.

If you’ve ever felt fine one minute and starving the next, or snapped at someone over something tiny because you were “hangry,” you’ve felt this shift already. Skipping meals, doing intermittent fasting without a clear plan, or surviving on caffeine only makes the rollercoaster worse. I'm a gal who likes a good cup of black coffee, well, several in a day. And I am a fan of fasting BUT fasting can be a double edged sword. I know you want to believe that you just need to push this a bit more but, however much you've read about it in the book Fast Like a Girl, there is a lot more to fasting than just not fasting like a man. Fasting like a menopausal woman is a whole new kettle of fish - but that's a story for another day. For now, onwards...

Cortisol dysregulation

Menopause changes how your body handles stress.Cortisol, your main stress hormone, hangs around longer than it used to. This raises blood sugar, increases fat storage around your middle, and disrupts your sleep.

Even everyday stresses, like a difficult email or an argument with your partner, can trigger a bigger physical reaction now.You might notice you get stuck in "fight or flight" mode for hours instead of moving on quickly. Some people are more sensitive to others and their need for stress relief is even greater (the nervous system DNA test I offer is brilliant for getting to the bottom of stuff like this). This isn’t you being dramatic. It’s your biology reacting to hormonal shifts.

Leptin and ghrelin imbalance

Leptin tells your brain you’re full. Ghrelin tells you you're hungry. Both are influenced by oestrogen (and genetics). When levels drop, these hunger signals stop working smoothly.

You might find yourself eating more without feeling satisfied. Or feeling ravenous after meals that used to keep you going for hours. This leads many women to assume they’re overeating or lacking discipline. In reality, your brain is just not getting clear hunger and fullness signals anymore. It's also so much more than that. Leptin is one of the master hormones involved in everything to do with your metabolism. It even plays a deciding role in whether your body will release the fat you so badly want it to. Delve deeper into this in my Reset Your Midlife Metabolism masterclass - https://www.foodfabulous.co.uk/metabolism-masterclass

Oestrogen decline and fat distribution

One of the biggest frustrations during menopause is sudden weight gain around the middle.It feels unfair. It often feels like it happened overnight. Oestrogen helps regulate fat distribution. When it falls, your body tends to store more fat centrally - around the abdomen rather than the hips and thighs. It's to do with oestrogen as a ratio to other sex hormones.

This isn't about eating more. It’s about hormonal signalling shifting where your body chooses to store energy. It’s also why menopause weight loss feels so much harder. The old calorie-cutting methods don't target the real issue.

Weight loss in midlife is only slightly about calories consumed. Your hormones are much more important

Why standard advice fails for menopause weight loss

For decades, women were told the formula was simple: eat less. Move more. Watch your portions. Burn more calories than you consume.

If you’re reading this, you already know that formula doesn’t work during menopause.

You’ve probably tried:

• Tracking calories religiously and still gaining weight

• Joining exercise programmes that leave you exhausted but no leaner

• Cutting out entire food groups hoping it will help

• Going low-carb, then high-protein, then Mediterranean, then giving up

• Blaming yourself for not having enough discipline

Maybe you saw a little change at first. But it didn’t last. Or the effort required was completely unsustainable. The truth is, menopause weight loss isn’t about calories alone. It’s about managing the underlying hormonal environment that controls how your body uses energy.

I know, I know. If only it were a maths problem. Work out what your body needs, eat in a calorie deficit and there you go. However many shouty men or personal trainers tell you it's just the calories (side note - mostly not trained to a high enough standard and nutrition and/ or not been through menopause and looked deeper into this shitshow than any training they have been given), they are incorrect. If anyone suggests no one came out of a prisoner of war camp overweight, you have my permissionn (if any were needed) to punch them. Arseholes.

I digress. If your blood sugar is unstable, cortisol is high, sleep is poor, and inflammation is brewing under the surface, no amount of calorie cutting will fix the real problems.

It’s not that weight loss after menopause is impossible. It’s that the method has to match the biology.

You need a new approach to weight loss in your 40s. Fact. And this is why I wrote the book Everything They Told You About Menopause Weight Loss Is Wrong. It's also why I created my signature programme The Midlife Method

It’s not another “eat less, move more” programme.It’s a high-level, 1:1 experience where we work together to fix what’s really happening inside your body.

When you join The Midlife Method, we:

• Personalise your nutrition to balance blood sugar and keep your hormones happy

• Create a sustainable meal structure that works for your energy needs

• Implement practical stress management (without pretending you can live in a spa)

• Set up your daily rhythms to support better sleep and cortisol regulation

• Build a realistic movement plan that doesn’t burn you out

• Address digestive health if bloating or sluggishness are issues

• Support mental clarity, focus, and emotional resilience

It’s practical. It’s structured. It’s tailored to you. You’re not handed a generic PDF and wished good luck.You’re supported through every step, with real conversations and real problem-solving.

What changes when you stop bullshitting yourself

Women who go through The Midlife Method often tell me it’s like getting their life back. Not because they suddenly had more willpower but because they stopped fighting their bodies and started working with them. And then a whole bunch of other stuff miraculously fell into place.

Here’s what life can look like:

• Clothes fitting properly again, without brutal diets

• Waking up refreshed and not needing three coffees to get through the morning

• Feeling in control of your emotions, even when life gets messy

• Losing stubborn midlife weight without feeling deprived

• Knowing what to eat, when to eat, and why - with no confusion

• Feeling clear-headed, motivated, and like yourself again

This doesn’t happen overnight. It’s not magic.But it’s absolutely possible when you stop guessing and start using a real plan built for your biology now.

Are you ready to stop pretending you can fix menopause symptoms alone?

You can stay stuck trying the same things over and over. Or you can decide to get real help that actually fits your life.

The Midlife Method is designed for women who are ready to do things differently. No guilt. No guessing. No more waiting for things to magically get easier.

We build your plan together.We make it practical.We make it doable.

And you get your energy, your clarity, your confidence - and your body - back.

Yay.

If you're ready to see the magic in your own life, you can do one of two things - take the express route and skip a call with me and just book in. You can do that here. In practice, many women want to chat things over first, and you can book a call with me here. To find out more about all the Food Fabulous programmes, navigate here.

And, if you don't have your own copy of Everything They Told You About Menopause Weight Loss Is Wrong, what are you waiting for? Run, don't walk here -